Stage 03 · the increased-support checklist
Reduce your caring hours without reducing the care your mum receives.
22 specific actions, across 5 sections. Most adult children at Stage 3 aren’t claiming what they’re entitled to, or aren’t asking for the support that already exists. This checklist is what to do about that — starting with your own GP appointment.
9 in 10
carers
report stress or anxiety several times a week. Half report depression. These are not warnings — they are the current situation.
Alzheimer’s Society
What’s inside
Five sections. Twenty-two actions. Two pages.
Tick each item when done. Bring this to your own GP appointment, your carer’s assessment, and any care coordination meeting.
- 015 actions
Your own health — what carrying it alone does to you.
Booking your own GP appointment, requesting an updated carer’s assessment, protecting one regular activity that belongs only to you. The quality of care you provide depends on this more directly than anything else.
- 025 actions
Respite — making the case to yourself and your parent.
A standing arrangement every week, not ‘when it feels necessary.’ Day centres, sitting services, transport. Initial reluctance from the person with dementia typically gives way to enjoyment within a few weeks.
- 034 actions
Activities and engagement — protecting what remains.
Cognitive Stimulation Therapy, memory cafés, and the activities your mum still enjoys. Meaningful activity is the first-line non-pharmacological intervention. Protecting it prevents the narrowing that nobody decides should happen.
- 044 actions
Care coordination — the written record that holds it together.
A one-page briefing for new professionals. A dated care log that answers ‘has this changed recently?’ in thirty seconds. The adult child is the only person with the full picture — and that knowledge needs to be written down.
- 054 actions
Financial support — what you and your parent may be entitled to.
Attendance Allowance. Carer’s Allowance. Direct payments. NHS Continuing Healthcare. Many adult children at Stage 3 are not claiming the benefits available — entitlement is based on need, not income, for some.
Why it works
Caring fewer hours doesn’t mean caring less.
The actions on this checklist work because they bring in support that is already yours to ask for — and because they protect the one person whose health most directly affects the quality of your mum’s care: you.
What this checklist will not do
- × Tell you to do less for your mum, or feel guilty about doing too much.
- × Replace your judgement with a script. You know her better than any service does.
- × Pretend the support is easy to access. It isn’t. It is, however, available.
What it will do
- + Name the specific services, benefits and assessments you are likely entitled to and may not yet have asked for.
- + Give you a written record to bring to every GP, social worker, and care coordination conversation.
- + Protect the regular respite, the personal activity, and the social contact that the research repeatedly shows hold up the rest.
Take the checklist to your next appointment.
Print it. Tick it. Bring it. The professionals you meet work from partial records — an adult child who arrives with documented observations gets more useful outcomes.
Download the checklist