Dementia Caregiving Basics: What You Need to Know

What Is Dementia?

Dementia is not a single illness but a group of symptoms. The brain slowly stops working as it should. Memory, thinking, and daily tasks become harder over time. There is no cure yet, but good care makes a real difference.

You Cannot Do This Alone

Caring for someone with dementia takes a team. You will need help from family, friends, and professionals. Asking for help is not weakness. It is smart planning. Your parent needs you healthy and strong, not burnt out.

Safety First: Making the Home Work

Remove the Risks

Falls are the biggest danger for people with dementia. Remove loose rugs and clutter from floors. Put rails on stairs and in the bathroom. Good lighting helps at night. Small changes make a big difference.

Lock Away Dangers

Medicines, cleaning products, and sharp objects need to be locked away. People with dementia may forget what things are for. They might eat or drink something harmful. Keep dangerous items out of sight and out of reach.

Stop Wandering Before It Starts

Many people with dementia try to leave the house and get lost. Fit locks that are hard to see or reach. Consider a tracking device they can wear. Tell neighbours about the situation. Quick action saves lives.

How to Talk When Words Get Hard

Keep It Simple

Use short sentences with simple words. Ask one question at a time. Give them time to answer. Rushing makes confusion worse. Patience is your best tool.

Your Face Says More Than Words

Smile, make eye contact, and use a calm voice. Your parent may forget words but they still read emotions. If you are stressed, they will feel stressed. Stay calm even when it is hard.

Do Not Argue About Reality

If your parent thinks it is 1985 or that their own parent is still alive, do not correct them. It will only upset them and it will not help. Go along with their reality when you can. Pick your battles wisely.

Daily Routines Keep Things Stable

Same Time, Same Way, Every Day

Routines help people with dementia feel safe and in control. Try to do things at the same time each day. This includes meals, washing, and bedtime. Surprises and changes cause stress and confusion.

Break Tasks into Small Steps

Getting dressed can be overwhelming when you have dementia. Break it down. Hand them one item at a time. Guide them gently through each step. Let them do what they can. Keep their independence as long as possible.

Let Them Help

People need to feel useful. Find simple tasks they can still do safely. Folding towels, setting the table, or watering plants all work well. It keeps their dignity and gives them purpose.

When Behaviour Gets Difficult

Find the Reason Behind the Behaviour

Shouting, hitting, or refusing help usually means something is wrong. They might be in pain, hungry, or need the toilet. They might be scared or confused. Look for the cause before you react.

Stay Calm When They Cannot

Your parent may get angry or upset for no clear reason. Do not take it personally. The disease is causing this, not them. Take a deep breath. Step away for a moment if you need to. Come back when you feel calmer.

Distraction Works Better Than Force

If they refuse to do something, do not fight about it. Try again in 10 minutes. Offer a snack or suggest a different activity. Sometimes a change of scene is all they need.

Personal Care Without the Fight

Washing and Bathing

Many people with dementia stop wanting to wash. They may forget why it matters or find water scary. Make the bathroom warm and safe. Use a routine. A daily wash might be enough if a full bath is too much.

Toilet Problems

Accidents will happen more as dementia gets worse. Put reminders on the toilet door. Take them every two hours during the day. Keep spare clothes handy. Never shame them for accidents.

Eating and Drinking

Some people with dementia forget to eat or forget how to use a knife and fork. Serve smaller meals more often. Finger foods are easier to manage. Make sure they drink enough water. Watch their weight.

Look After Yourself or You Will Break

You Are Important Too

You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you burn out, who will care for your parent? Taking breaks is not selfish. It is part of the care plan. Your health matters just as much as theirs.

Get Respite Care

Respite care means someone else looks after your parent while you rest. This could be a few hours a week or a week away. Day centres, sitting services, and short stays in care homes all give you breathing space. Use them.

Join a Support Group

Talking to others who understand helps more than you think. Support groups share tips and give emotional support. You will learn you are not alone. Both online and face-to-face groups are available across the UK.

Getting Professional Help

Start With Your GP

Your parent's GP is the first port of call. They can arrange memory tests, refer to specialists, and prescribe medicine that might slow symptoms. They can also refer you to other services. Do not wait. Early help is better help.

Admiral Nurses Are Dementia Experts

Admiral Nurses specialise in dementia care. They support the whole family, not just the person with dementia. They give advice, emotional support, and help you plan ahead. Ask your GP for a referral or contact Dementia UK directly.

Social Services Can Help

Your local council provides care assessments. They work out what help your parent needs and what you need as a carer. Some help is free. Some you pay for based on income and savings. Get assessed even if you think you will have to pay.

Money and Legal Matters Cannot Wait

Power of Attorney Must Happen Now

A Lasting Power of Attorney lets you make decisions when your parent cannot. There are two types: one for money and one for health. You can only set this up while your parent can still understand it. Leave it too late and you will need to go to court.

Know What Benefits Are Available

Your parent may be entitled to Attendance Allowance or Personal Independence Payment. You might qualify for Carer's Allowance. These benefits are not means-tested. Many people miss out because they do not know about them or think they will not qualify.

Planning for the Future

Dementia Gets Worse Over Time

What works now will not work forever. Start thinking about future care needs early. This might mean more care at home or moving to a care home. Having these conversations early is kinder than making rushed decisions in a crisis.

Care Homes Are Not Giving Up

Many families feel guilty about care homes. But sometimes it is the right choice. Your parent may need more care than you can safely give at home. A good care home has trained staff available 24 hours a day. Visit several homes before you need one.

Talk to Your Family Now

You are not alone in this. Thousands of people just like you are caring for a parent with dementia right now. This guide gives you the basics to start with confidence. You can do this.

You Are Doing Your Best

Get everyone together to talk about care. Who will do what? How will you share the load? What does your parent want? These talks are hard but they prevent fights and resentment later. Write down what you agree.

Caring for someone with dementia is one of the hardest things you will ever do. There will be good days and terrible days. You will make mistakes. You will lose your temper. You will feel guilty. This is all normal. You are human. Your parent is lucky to have you.

Care Costs Add Up Fast

Care at home or in a care home costs thousands of pounds each month. Start planning now. Check if your parent has insurance that covers care. Look at their savings and property. Get advice from Age UK or an independent financial adviser who specialises in care fees.