What Is Dementia

Understanding Dementia Basics

Dementia changes how the brain works. It is not one single disease. Instead, it is a group of symptoms that affect memory, thinking, and daily life. Over time, these problems get worse. Dementia is not a normal part of getting old.

The Simple Facts

Dementia affects about 900,000 people in the UK right now. The brain has different parts that do different jobs. When dementia damages these parts, a person struggles to remember things, make choices, or do tasks they used to do easily. This damage is permanent. Whilst we cannot cure dementia yet, we can help manage the symptoms and plan for the future.

Types of Dementia

Alzheimer's Disease

This is the most common type. Around 6 out of 10 people with dementia have Alzheimer's disease. It happens when proteins build up in the brain and damage brain cells. Memory problems usually come first. Then other thinking skills get worse over time.

Vascular Dementia

This type happens after problems with blood flow to the brain. Strokes or mini-strokes can cause it. Sometimes a person has many tiny strokes they don't even notice. The brain doesn't get enough blood and oxygen. Symptoms can appear suddenly or develop in steps rather than smoothly.

Lewy Body Dementia

This type causes unusual symptoms early on. People might see things that aren't there or have very vivid dreams. They can have times when they think clearly, then times when they are very confused. Movement problems that look like Parkinson's disease are common too.

Frontotemporal Dementia

This type is less common but affects younger people more often. It damages the front and sides of the brain first. This changes personality and behaviour before memory problems start. A person might become rude, lose interest in things, or struggle with words and speech.

Mixed Dementia

Some people have more than one type at the same time. Alzheimer's and vascular dementia often happen together. This makes symptoms more complex. Doctors can find this out through scans and tests.

Early Warning Signs

Memory Changes

Forgetting things more often is usually the first sign. Your parent might repeat questions, lose items, or forget recent events. They might struggle to remember names of people they know well. Missing appointments becomes more common. These changes go beyond normal age-related forgetfulness.

Confusion and Disorientation

Getting lost in familiar places is a red flag. Your parent might forget what day it is or lose track of time. They could struggle to follow conversations or storylines on TV. Simple tasks like making tea might suddenly seem complicated. This confusion often gets worse later in the day.

Language Problems

Finding the right words becomes harder. They might call things by the wrong name or stop mid-sentence. Following instructions gets difficult. Reading and writing might take much longer than before. Communication becomes frustrating for everyone.

Changes in Mood and Personality

You might notice your parent acting differently. They could become anxious, sad, or easily upset. Some people become suspicious or accuse others of stealing. Loss of interest in hobbies and friends is common. These changes can be subtle at first.

Poor Judgement

Making odd decisions happens more often. Your parent might dress wrong for the weather or give money to strangers. They could ignore personal hygiene or safety. Scams become a real risk. Trust your instincts if something feels wrong.

How Dementia Progresses

Early Stage

Life looks fairly normal at first. Your parent can still do most things alone. They might forget words or misplace items more often. Subtle changes in judgement appear. Many people can still work or drive. This stage might last two to four years.

Middle Stage

Help becomes necessary for daily tasks. Memory gaps get bigger and more obvious. Your parent might not recognise some people or places. They need support with washing, dressing, and eating. Behaviour changes become more noticeable. This stage often lasts the longest, sometimes two to ten years.

Late Stage

Full-time care is needed. Communication becomes very limited. Your parent might not recognise close family members. They lose the ability to walk or sit up without help. Eating and swallowing become difficult. This stage requires professional care and can last from one to three years.

Understanding the Timeline

Every person's journey is different. Some people decline quickly whilst others stay stable for years. The type of dementia affects how fast it progresses. Health problems like infections can make symptoms suddenly worse. Planning early gives you more choices later.

What Causes Dementia

Age and Risk

Getting older is the biggest risk factor. After 65, the chance of getting dementia doubles about every five years. But dementia is not a normal part of ageing. Many people live into their 90s with healthy brains. Understanding the risks helps with planning.

Brain Health and Lifestyle

Your parent's lifestyle choices over the years matter. High blood pressure, diabetes, smoking, and lack of exercise all increase risk. Being overweight in middle age raises the chances too. Heavy drinking damages the brain over time. But these factors don't guarantee dementia will happen.

Family History

Genes play a small role in most cases. If dementia runs in your family, your risk goes up slightly. Only a very small number of people inherit genes that definitely cause dementia. Most dementia happens because of a mix of age, genes, and lifestyle. Worrying about family history won't change what happens.

Head Injuries

Serious knocks to the head can increase risk later in life. This includes injuries from falls, car accidents, or contact sports. The brain might not recover fully. Wearing seatbelts and preventing falls in older age helps protect against future problems.

Getting a Diagnosis

First Steps

Start with your parent's GP. Book a double appointment so you have enough time. Write down your concerns beforehand. The GP will do memory tests and basic checks. They might do blood tests to rule out other causes like vitamin deficiency or thyroid problems.

Memory Clinics

The GP might refer your parent to specialists. Memory clinics have doctors, nurses, and other experts who understand dementia. They do more detailed tests and brain scans. Getting an appointment can take weeks or months. Waiting is hard, but a proper diagnosis matters.

Why Diagnosis Matters

Knowing what you're dealing with helps you plan. Some symptoms can be treated even if the dementia can't be cured. You can access support services and benefits. Legal and financial planning becomes easier. Your parent can be involved in decisions whilst they still can.

If Your Parent Refuses

Many people resist seeing the doctor. Fear and denial are normal reactions. Try focusing on specific problems like sleep or mood rather than memory. Offer to go with them for support. Sometimes waiting a few weeks and trying again works better than pushing.

Treatment and Support

Medications

Drugs can help with symptoms but don't cure dementia. Medicines for Alzheimer's disease can slow memory loss for some people. They work better when started early. Side effects like sickness or diarrhoea are possible. Not everyone benefits, and the effects are modest.

Managing Other Symptoms

Doctors can treat depression, anxiety, and sleep problems. These symptoms often come with dementia. Treating them improves quality of life for everyone. Sometimes simple changes work better than tablets. Regular routines and gentle exercise help too.

Staying Active

Keeping busy helps maintain skills for longer. Physical activity is good for the brain and body. Social contact fights loneliness and depression. Familiar hobbies and activities give pleasure and purpose. Don't focus only on what your parent can't do anymore.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Small changes at home make a big difference. Remove clutter and trip hazards. Use labels on cupboards and doors. Keep important items in the same place. Good lighting reduces confusion. A calm, quiet space helps when your parent feels overwhelmed.

What This Means for You

Balancing Your Life

You can't do everything alone. Your job, your own family, and your health all matter too. Burning yourself out helps nobody. Look for care services early, before you're desperate. Sharing the load with siblings or paid carers is sensible, not selfish.

Cost and Quality

Good care costs money but poor care costs more. Research local care homes and home care agencies now. Read inspection reports online. Visit places in person and trust your gut. Some costs can be covered by the council or NHS if your parent qualifies.

Making Decisions Together

Talk to your parent whilst you still can. Discuss their wishes for future care. Sort out power of attorney for health and finances. These conversations are hard but waiting makes them harder. Having legal authority prevents problems later.

Your Own Future

Planning for your parent helps you plan for yourself. You're seeing what old age might look like. Think about your own health choices now. Consider what care you'd want if you faced the same situation. Having these conversations with your own children, even briefly, plants seeds for later.

Where to Get Help

Local Support

Your council has adult social care services. They can assess your parent's needs and your needs as a carer. Some help is free depending on finances. Waiting lists exist but getting on them early matters. Don't wait until crisis point.

National Organisations

Dementia UK and Alzheimer's Society offer free support. They run helplines, support groups, and have information online. Admiral Nurses specialise in dementia care and can give practical advice. Age UK helps with benefits and daily living support.

Respite Care

Taking breaks is not optional. Respite care gives you time off whilst someone else looks after your parent. This might be a few hours a week or a week away. Day centres and short stays in care homes are both options. Recharging helps you care better.

Benefits and Financial Help

Your parent might qualify for Attendance Allowance. This is a benefit for people who need care because of physical or mental problems. It doesn't depend on National Insurance contributions. You might qualify for Carer's Allowance if you care for over 35 hours a week.

Moving Forward

One Step at a Time

You don't need all the answers today. Dementia is a long journey with many small decisions along the way. Focus on what matters right now. Build your support team gradually. Accept that some days will be harder than others.

Finding Your New Normal

Life will look different but it can still have good moments. Focus on what your parent can still enjoy, not what they've lost. Celebrate small wins. Keep them included in family life where possible. Your relationship changes but love remains.

Being Kind to Yourself

Guilt is normal but not always fair. You're doing your best in a hard situation. Perfect care doesn't exist. Making choices that work for the whole family is sensible. Your parent would want you to look after yourself too.

Dementia is tough, but you don't have to face it alone. Understanding what dementia is, how it progresses, and where to find help gives you back some control. Knowledge helps you make better decisions for your parent and for yourself. Start with one small step today.

All these organisations offer free information, advice, and support services.